This blog series examines what Scripture tells us about godly character—and shares encouragement for Christian fathers today. While the encouragement found in these blog posts is aimed specifically at fathers, there are applicable truths for all Christians.
This blog post is the second in a four-part series. You can read the first post here.
“Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect”
(1 Timothy 3:1-4).
Dear Christian father, God calls you to be . . . faithful to your wife. Temperate. Self-Controlled.
How does being those things benefit your children spiritually? Let’s take a look:
Be faithful to your wife.
It’s no secret that children need Christian role models for marriage—relationships built on mutual love and respect for each other, relationships solidly rooted in Christ. Your children need to see what it looks like when you love your wife with a faithful, steadfast love empowered by the self-sacrificing love that Jesus showed you.
What a wonderful pattern of Christ you get to be when you show your love to your wife in this way! What a wonderful example of a Christian husband you get to be when she is the only woman for you and your children see that reflected in your words and actions toward her.
As your children grow up, they get to see how a Christian man (and husband) acts—and how a woman (and wife) is to be treated.
Be temperate.
Life is filled with stress, uncertainties, and anxieties. How do you react to them? Why does it matter?
Well, perhaps you remember a time when your child fell down and then immediately looked at you to see your reaction. If you were calm, it’s likely that the fall didn’t faze your child too much. If you looked horrified, chances are that tears were sure to follow.
Your children take their cue from you.
Dear Christian father, don’t hide your fears, mask your insecurities, or try to put on a brave face. You can admit those things and still remember who is in control of all things. Take your stress, uncertainties, and anxieties to God because he cares for you.
When you are temperate—calm and collected in how you react to what is happening in life—that influences your children and also shows them how to react to what happens in their lives.
Be self-controlled.
Thoughts and attitudes influence words and actions.
Sometimes, hurtful words are said and rash actions are taken without thinking. Once that happens, those words and actions can’t be taken back. They’re out there. The damage has been done. Our words and actions impact relationships with loved ones. They impact how our loved ones think of us and respond to us.
When you are self-controlled, you pay attention to what you do and say. You also recognize that you are influenced by your thoughts—good and bad.
Consider Paul’s encouragement from Philippians: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).
And then speak of those things to and about your loved ones!
Dear Christian father, if you have not been faithful to your wife, temperate, or self-controlled, remember what Jesus has done for you.
Jesus is always faithful in his love. Jesus stands firm and unmoving and unchanging. Jesus speaks words of forgiveness, comfort, and encouragement. For you. Jesus is how you ask for forgiveness and live each day anew as the Christian—the man, the husband, and the father—he has made you to be.
At a time when distorted views of marriage and relationships are everywhere, Marriage and Family: The Family Photo Album is a refreshing alternative. This helpful book presents Scripture’s teachings on marriage as God intends it to be.
Alex Brown is the marketing and content copywriter at Northwestern Publishing House. He has his Master of Divinity degree from Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary and enjoys reading, writing, and spending time in God’s creation.