This blog series examines what Scripture tells us about godly character—and shares encouragement for Christian fathers today. While the encouragement found in these blog posts is aimed specifically at fathers, there are applicable truths for all Christians.
This blog post is the fourth in a four-part series. You can read the first, second, and third here.
“Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect”
(1 Timothy 3:1-4).
Dear Christian father, God calls you to be . . . not given to drunkenness. Not violent but gentle. Not quarrelsome. Not a lover of money.
As the spiritual leader of your family, as the role model of what it means to be a Christian man, husband, and father, these last four qualities that Paul mentions are vitally important for you—and your children’s spiritual benefit. Let’s take a look:
Don’t be given to drunkenness.
God is clear about drunkenness. He calls it what it is: sin. Like many other sins, drunkenness has multiple consequences: damaged reputations and relationships with family and loved ones, the fallout from words and actions that would normally be kept in check, unhealthy coping mechanisms, long-term health challenges, and problems—the list goes on.
In a world and society where drunkenness is acceptable so long as you don’t harm or endanger anyone else, you, dear Christian father, have an incredible opportunity to show your children how to conduct themselves and not to abuse God’s gifts but to be of sound mind and judgment when using them.
Don’t be violent but gentle.
Violence isn’t just limited to physical actions against someone else. Violence can be seen in words too. Words that are intended to cause hurt and harm. Be careful. Words once spoken cannot be taken back. As Paul wrote elsewhere, “Let your gentleness be evident to all” (Philippians 4:5). Let it be evident toward others in both your words and deeds.
Show Christ’s firm and steadfast love for the people in your life.
Don’t be quarrelsome.
As sinful people, our relationships are flawed, imperfect things. We don’t always see eye to eye; we disagree and argue. Sometimes, we think it’s easier to argue, become defensive, and be set in our ways, instead of putting in the hard work it takes to make peace in our relationships and homes. But that kind of thinking only causes more damage, hurt, and harm.
Dear Christian father, you get to be an example to your children of what it means to be a peacemaker. Work hard to keep the peace in your family—between you and your children, between you and your wife, and between your children and your wife! Consider Paul’s encouragement: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18).
Don’t be a lover of money.
It’s easy for us to fall for the trap of consumerism. As a Christian father, you get to lead your children by your example in all things—including your attitude toward money and what’s truly important in life.
It can also be easy to lose yourself—trying to earn enough money to provide a good life for your family. It’s easy to let that drive and work ethic consume your waking moments, so much so that you’re never home. Order your priorities rightly. What you spend time doing the most, what your children see as important to you, makes all the difference.
Dear Christian father, don’t let your work beat out time spent with your family. Don’t let your work come before spending time with your family in God’s Word and his house. Work is important but so is your family. Even more important is your relationship—and your family’s—with God!
We’ve looked at a lot of qualities—godly characteristics—over the past four days. Some, by God’s grace, might be easier for you to demonstrate to your family. Others might be a real struggle.
If these things are a struggle for you, remember what your Savior has done for you. He demonstrated these godly characteristics at all times in his thoughts, words, and deeds shown to others. That was for you. For all the times you don’t.
Dear Christian father, look to Jesus. Look back at Paul’s words to Timothy. They’re God’s words to you too. Strive to live according to his will for you, not only knowing that you will fail at times but also knowing that you are forgiven and set free from your sins.
Ask your family members for forgiveness when and where it is needed—that’s fulfilling your role as their spiritual leader too! Ask them for their help, encouragement, prayers, and support—that’s what it means to be a family! Then rededicate yourself each day to living as the Christian—the man, the husband, and the father—God has made you to be in Jesus.
Patient Parenting: Raising Your Kids in the Shadow of the Cross is a collection of 49 articles about the Christian home. This book leads you to recognize that raising children who are healthy depends on solid Christian parenting in the shadow of the cross and a firm foundation built on God’s Word.
Alex Brown is the marketing and content copywriter at Northwestern Publishing House. He has his Master of Divinity degree from Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary and enjoys reading, writing, and spending time in God’s creation.