by Jackie Bauer
Do you feel the momentum shifting? It’s like the roar of a mighty tidal wave and the heaving movement of an earthquake rolled into one, isn’t it? Just when you thought you had things under control, the summer routine turns into the chaos and confusion of a new school year. School shopping. Arranging car pools. Homework. Disagreements over who gets the bathroom first. Bad hair days. Packing lunches. Let’s all take a deep breath, count to ten, and focus on two things that can help set the tone for the school year: routines and expectations.
Routines are necessary. Routines provide families with security and order. Reestablishing new school-time routines after a summer of relative freedom is not always easy. But children and parents need the stability and structure of established wake-up times, bedtimes, study times, curfews, TV and computer time, family devotion time, and telephone time.
With older children, such times can be negotiated. Responsibility is the key variable in coming to an agreement. Young adolescents need to see that they become more the masters of their own time as they demonstrate responsibility. Younger children need to understand that their parents are in charge of setting the appropriate times.
As the new school year begins, parents also need to reexamine the expectations they hold for their children. If it’s not fair to compare, by what standards do you set expectations for your child’s progress during the new school year? Parents need to be satisfied with their own answers to questions like:
What gifts and abilities has the Lord given my child?
Do I know what my child’s teachers expect of me and of my child?
What do I expect of my child’s teachers?
Is it possible that I am expecting my child to be something that I wasn’t?
Am I encouraging my child in accordance with his or her potential?
Have I met God’s expectations for me as a Christian parent? That is, do I instruct my child in God’s Word, and do I continue to model God’s love in our home?
The way we answer these questions will tell us a lot about how to measure the success of this school year when it’s over. So, while it’s important to set expectations high, it’s even more important to make them realistic and fair.
Finally, a new school year inevitably brings new stresses and tensions. It helps to maintain a well-balanced diet, exercise regularly, take time for yourself, be flexible, set clear boundaries, and be consistent with discipline. But there will still be times when “the system” breaks down. That’s when Christians remember to turn to God in faith. Forgiveness, compassion, and prayer take over. That’s when we remember that God promises to always make things work out for our good, including the new school year.
From Lutheran Parent September-October 1995 © 1995 Northwestern Publishing House. All rights reserved.