“It was just before the Passover Festival. Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him” (John 13:1,3-5).
The verses above would be an interesting text for a wedding sermon, wouldn’t they? Even more shocking would be a direct comparison. Imagine the pastor telling the happy, soon-to-be newlyweds standing in front of him at the altar, “You know, marriage works well when you’re actively looking for ways to wash each other’s feet.”
What? What does that mean?
There are a lot of “feet-washing moments” in marriage. Those moments can be acts of service—tasks that your spouse doesn’t like doing (maybe you’re not necessarily fond of doing them either)—like washing the dishes, doing taxes, taking out the trash, cleaning the house, cooking meals, or mowing the lawn.
But let’s not limit our feet-washing moments to acts of service. Feet-washing moments in marriage are any opportunity to put your spouse’s godly wants and needs ahead of your own—and not expect anything in return. When you do that for your spouse, you’re showing love for your spouse and God.
We can easily get behind the idea of someone doing things for us. But it’s a whole lot harder to want to do things for our spouse with a self-sacrificial, feet-washing mindset and actively look for those things to do—because we’re naturally self-serving, sinful people. We want to be served—not always to serve. We want to be shown love—not always to show love without the thought of getting something in return.
How do we overcome that? Not just in marriage but in our relationships with other people as well? Because whether married or single, God calls us as his children to live in humble, self-sacrificial service to others.
We look to our Savior, Jesus. He came to serve, not to be served. He lived his whole life on earth with a self-sacrificial, feet-washing mindset. On the night before his crucifixion, he was literally washing his disciples’ feet! By his perfect life, innocent death on the cross, and triumphant resurrection from the grave, he has rescued us from sin, death, and the devil. His love for us influences our own love for others. We love because he first loved us. Set free by him, we follow his example and serve others in love.
Do we do that perfectly? Of course not. We’re sinful people! We don’t always wash one another’s feet. We don’t always act in love. But when we live out our marriages and our very lives at the foot of the cross, that changes our mindset about service, love, relationships, and putting the wants and needs of others ahead of our own.
Marriage—and life itself—works well when you and your spouse actively look for ways to wash each other’s feet. Dear Christian, may God give you the strength to do so as you serve him and others in the joy and freedom that are yours because of your Savior, Jesus.
If you’re looking for some excellent, Christ-centered advice on establishing a strong spiritual foundation in your home and marriage, check out this month’s Faith Footnotes podcast episode, “Building the Christian Home.” Whether you’re newly married, raising children, or seeking to strengthen your home life, this conversation with special guest John D. Schuetze, author of Building the Christian Home, will be well worth your while.
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Alex Brown is the marketing and content copywriter at Northwestern Publishing House. He has his Master of Divinity degree from Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary and enjoys reading, writing, and spending time in God’s creation.
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