by Lynn Groth
Okay, I’m not young, but give me a chance. My friends and I grew up having few toys, so we cherished what we had and used inexpensive supplies to make games, forts, and toys. (We learned to be creative.) We played outside a lot, and our parents came looking for us only when we didn’t show up for supper, chores, or bedtime. (We followed our own game rules and worked out our own problems.)
Today, kids are surrounded by electronic gadgets, toys, and organized everything. There is often little or no free play outside. I asked some younger Christian parents what they do in today’s world to promote creativity, confidence, problem solving, and other important attributes and skills in their children. Here are their comments:
Parents underestimate the abilities of their children.
Expect a lot; children can do more than you might think. My toddler had her own creeper and watched her dad work under the car. My husband helped our preschooler find items for each letter of the alphabet, such as an Allen wrench for A. He explained the tool and supplied items for demonstrating its use. Our four-year-old confidently told classmates about the tool and let them try it out. Now my husband is teaching our elementary school-age children safety rules, terminology, and orderly processes while teaching them to weld.
From early on, have kids play outside. If there aren’t other kids around, bring some in. Provide sports equipment, art supplies, and paper and wood scraps, and a stack of board games. Then let the kids play. Expect them to work out problems and clean up messes.
Lead, teach, and discover rather than do, dictate, and deliver. Always think, “How can I get my child to take ownership of this?”
Imagine with your children. Make up the beginning of a bedtime story and have your children provide input by describing characters and adding events. For example: “Robot Randy works in a candy factory. It is his job to put two of each color of candy into each box. Hmm, I wonder what Randy looks like . . .”
Don’t hover too much and step in to solve kids’ problems. If you do, you may wonder why, when your kids are older, they lack confidence and don’t take responsibility for their actions. Let kids make mistakes and learn from them. Don’t read through their homework to make sure it’s perfect. Let your child deal with the consequences (or the rewards).
Use open-ended questions. Ask for ways to correct a problem (or avoid it next time), and guide the discussion to a God-pleasing resolution, keeping Jesus fully in the picture. Proper motivation for Christian living is this: To show thanks to our loving God for saving us through Jesus. Giving bribes to get short-term good behavior is easy, but working painstakingly to encourage children to live for Christ has long-term benefits.
Teach kids to do jobs! Some people have criticized my husband and me for expecting our kids to do lots of chores but are amazed that our kids are confident and can do almost anything around the house and yard. As an “older” parent, I know that the effort you now put into leading and allowing your children to be creative, confident, and problem-solving people will pay off in the long run. Hopefully they will live on their own rather than with you, solve their own problems, accept responsibility for their actions, and cook, do laundry, and fix things (or search for ways to do so). My sons have thanked my husband and me for encouraging them to develop such interests and skills. They are confident, independent, creative, and funny young men. And, thankfully, they remain faithful to their Creator, Savior, and Faith-Giver!
From Parents Crosslink Autumn 2013 © 2013 Northwestern Publishing House. All rights reserved.