This is about the time when most of us, dear reader, get up on our high horses in protest to challenge the notion that there may be something wrong with wanting something—with dreaming big. After all, in one way or another, we each subscribe to the concept of the great American dream. Disney built an empire based on the idea that our dreams can come true if we just wish hard enough. For humankind, dreams are a default setting—a given. When the harsh realities of life hit us the hardest (think of the worst things that can happen), we still dream. So what’s wrong with that?
Actually, the objects of our wanting aren’t that important. James didn’t even bother to cite examples. Nor was he saying that there is anything inherently wrong with wanting or even dreaming big. He was saying that if you are searching for the seeds of conflict, look no further than your own heart. That’s where ungodly desires can put down tiny shoots that eventually root and spring up as full-blown, hate-filled, smashmouth conflicts. He was saying that even our dreams are tainted.
Let me be the first to offer up a mea culpa: There are things I want. Isn’t that true for everyone? We’d have to be unconscious not to want. I’ll even admit there are a few things I am willing to fight for. And I have some ideas about what others may want bad enough to fight for as well. Some of our desires (for example, power, fame, influence, money, etc.) have the potential to corrupt even the most pious disciple. It’s easy to label these longings as dangerous. On the other hand, a good education, responsible government, reasonable health, freedom, a loving spouse, servant-minded pastors and teachers, God-fearing children, a satisfying job, and loyal friends are definitely worth dreaming about. We may even refer to them as blessings. We teach our children to vigorously pursue them. Should we feel guilty for wanting these blessings?
And what about those things we unselfishly want for others? A meaningful life. A stronger faith. Another day of grace. Is that so wrong?
The problem with characteristic old-Adam thinking is that our wanting can degenerate into self-serving obsessions. And when we put self at the center of our wanting, it can become idolatrous. Alfred Poirier explains how in the heart of a sinful person, even God-pleasing intentions can become idolatrous:
Most of the time our desires are good. They turn bad when we start serving them—when we treat them as gods and they rule over us. . . . The evil is not what we want but in wanting it too much. It is not in the desire but in making the desire an ultimatum (when only God is ultimate, and only God should give ultimatums). . . . As counterfeit gods, idols are lawgivers. They command us. They shape our affections, direct our decisions, and motivate our behavior. What we do we do because we obey the command of our [false inner] god.
Godly wanting always lines up with God’s holy will. It echoes Jesus’ prayer: “Your will be done.” It approaches the Father’s throne with motives driven by our faith in Jesus. Such wanting is in complete harmony with the compassion we see in his life and death. Self-serving obsessions have a way of replacing God’s will with my will. That’s a significant shift. We dare not let it go unnoticed. A self-serving obsession is the very first stage of a conflict in the making. In his gospel, Mark recorded a revealing little episode involving two brothers who had come to know Jesus well. Their names were James and John. For two-and-a- half years they had followed Jesus everywhere, sitting at his feet, drinking in the many wonderful lessons he taught, witnessing his incredible miracles. One day, when they had gathered up the nerve, the two brothers came to Jesus with a request. “Teacher,” they began, “we want you to do for us whatever we ask” (Mark 10:35). How blatant can self-indulgent wanting be? Even when we try to put their request in the best possible light, it’s difficult to find much of a “Your will be done” attitude in those words. Have you ever prayed with the attitude James and John had? I have. A reasonable guess is that most of us have. Our wanting is often spoiled by self-serving attitudes. Our underlying motives are not always as righteous as we may like to believe.
Excerpt from Heart At Peace: Biblical Strategies for Christian Conflict, 2014 Northwestern Publishing House. All rights reserved.