God’s way for resolving conflict is never easy. It’s never easy to acknowledge one’s sin in the face of a sworn adversary. It’s never easy to unconditionally forgive someone hell-bent on destroying you. It is never easy to love an enemy so intensely that you would even say a prayer on that person’s behalf. And it certainly is never easy to turn the other cheek when someone attacks you and the whole world is waiting to see what you’re going to do about it. None of this is easy. But for militants like us, God makes a wealth of resources available. These resources are so powerful they will make it possible for you to accomplish things that would otherwise be impossible.
There is a moving narrative in the Old Testament (Genesis 25–33) that illustrates God’s desire to bless us with these incredibly powerful resources. The main character is a man named Jacob.
Jacob was no stranger to conflict. His brother, Esau, had vowed to kill him after Jacob had wrongfully walked off with the coveted family birthright. For 20 years, Jacob lived beyond Esau’s reach, always knowing that one day he would return home to face his brother’s wrath. In exile, Jacob had to endure conflicts with a manipulative father-in-law. And his own household was a boiling pot of envy and hatred, partly because Jacob had multiple marriage partners. As the story develops, it looks as though the brothers will finally meet in mortal combat. Jacob’s entourage seems ill prepared for the impending battle.
As is typical for Jacob, he relies on his own cunning, dividing his caravan into two groups and sending emissaries ahead with lavish gifts to placate his brother’s anger. On the eve of what is shaping up to be a face-off to the death, we find Jacob alone, deep in meditation and prayer. A stranger appears. Jacob recognizes the stranger’s presence as a sign from God. Perhaps he already suspects the stranger is none other than the Lord God himself, so he boldly demands a blessing. The stranger engages Jacob in an intense hand-to-hand struggle that lasts all night. As the battle rages, the intimacy of the Lord’s loving embrace strengthens and encourages Jacob to fight on. At dawn the stranger gives in to Jacob’s persistent demand, but not before leaving Jacob with a permanent hip injury as a constant reminder of the Lord’s endless love. The stranger’s blessing itself consists of a new identity for Jacob—Israel. Jacob’s new name means one who wrestles with God.
Like Jacob, you and I bear the same new identity. I am one-who-wrestles-with-God. So are you. Our struggles with God are not the result of hatred or enmity but of a profound love that wants nothing more than to give us what we need. He draws us to himself, bringing the intimate fight to us, not to destroy us but to reach out and embrace us with his infinite blessings of hope and prosperity (Jeremiah 29:11). Without these blessings we have no hope of success in conquering our conflicts and the sins associated with them. With his blessings we are intrepid warriors who cannot be defeated. So God wants us coming back, often and persistently, to seek his abundant and powerful gifts.
The Lord engages us in these occasional wrestling matches to remind us that he will provide all the resources we need to conduct our wars—a stronger faith, for example, to resist the temptations that so often accompany conflict and his sure promise to answer our prayers.
The apostle Paul had an inspiring take on this wrestling-with-God concept. “I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,” said Paul, “so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9,10).
Conflict does its greatest damage when God is left out of the exit strategy. For doing the impossible things that can restore peace to your strife-torn relationships, get the resources you need from the Giver-of-all-good-gifts. Acquire real strength from the gospel power of Christ Jesus and his Word so that you too can delight in your weaknesses.
Excerpt from Devotional Thoughts for Christians in Conflict.